Self-Differentiated Leadership and Crucial conversations

By Jose Moreno

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              According to the Friedman’s theory of differentiated leadership, a leader is someone who influences a group of individuals to accomplish a common goal.  An effective leader is not about traits or skills as much as it is an emotional process of regulating one’s own anxiety (self-differentiation). It is crucial to stay connected in a meaningful way to other people or groups without losing the identity and the emotional anxiety in the group, even if they disagree. A differentiation leader is like the emotional immune system of an organization. Being non-anxious and avoiding the “emotional triangle” or drama that only results in more anxiety in the system. This influences negatively people to take control for themselves. It is important to tolerate other people’s discomfort to allow them to take personal responsibility in the long run. In a healthy organization it is allowed to defuse the anxiety and to function nicely to create staff‘s homeostasis. In short, leaders cannot make the center of their world, because leaders are more effective when they continue standing in ways that are non -anxious.

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            Another important element on the implementation of the initiative is the crucial conversations that are everywhere. According to Kerry Patterson (2015) “start with dialogue, when the stakes are high, opinion vary, and emotions run strong.”   I am aware that for leaders, it is inevitable not end up in a crucial conversation. Frequently, when some colleagues seek to implement new strategies to help students they find resistance from a team or individual. Creating symptoms that allow people to feel unsafe, with silence and violence silence, controlling and labeling others. The key is not to get caught up in the content of a conversation and instead wait for signs of safety, reestablishing the mutual purpose and respect. Well-differentiated leaders have the capacity to function admirably when the world about them is dislocated and stuck in a certain way of thinking.

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            To chance teachers’ behavior, they need to feel safe in order to share their thoughts; otherwise, they create safety for themselves. Second, leaders cannot allow negative emotions instead they need to provide skills to the teachers to control themselves and create new emotions. Allowing an open mindset and crucial conversations.  This encourages to be respectful and seek out others teachers’ perspectives to get their ideas into the discussion.  Remember, if we want to persuade others start with the facts and never impose on people.  

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            The major changes in a school organization are difficult to implement. However, if we apply the influencer strategies, the lead measures, and the self-differentiation theory of leaders; who take responsibility for themselves and leads others to do the same.  

            I have to take decisive stands, because it is possible to create gradually implementation of choices and creative enrichment activities on the lessons. To decrease the disengagement and boredom presented by students. Due to lack of curiosity, creativity, and high-level of thinking, with meaningful connections, and authentic learning experiences. I believe, that inspiring and empowering middle school learners to be creative and seek innovation leads them to more opportunities throughout their life.

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            The first strategy, I will use is to touch teachers’ hearts and minds through PLC and grade level meetings or informal conversations. Where I can connect a conversation with the vision of the initiative. Since, Simon Sinek (2013, Sept 29) said: “People don’t buy what you do; they buy WHY you do it”. Teachers discern the why and the vital behavior of the implementation of lessons. Providing choices and creative enrichment activities by using the six sources of influence matrix and servicing students to keep them engage and productive.

 

            In the second strategy, I will apply the 4 disciplines of execution (4DX), where I can comprehend the WIG, the lead/lag measures, the scoreboard, and the accountability, to bring the initiative to life. I cannot wait to experiment the plan in my classes and discover the best way to engage my students. I will assist the school organization in creating a sense of urgency, where teachers understand and internalize the importance of preparing learners for a future that requires creative and innovative people.

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            The third strategy, I will sell remarkable and effective lessons with choices and creative enrichment. 85% of people do not adopt new practices until leaders do and demonstrate the benefits. Changing teachers’ behaviors is a slow process that needs a nice approach to succeed. However, I will need the cooperation of teachers, who can demonstrate to others by modeling the importance of the initiative. To motivate, to engage, and to encourage creative behaviors on learners. This differentiated leadership is compared in the Friedman’s theory with a heart cell that has a nucleus which controls the activity of the cell, but requires different organelles and a cell membrane all with a purpose to pump blood. Even so, it requires a group of the same cells to create a system to influence others and vice versa. A leader’s job is to be a fortress in the system like a gravitational field.

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            Finally, another strategy that I will implement is focusing on myself and my presence because emotional processes are always more powerful than ideas.  I will inspire other colleagues to focus first on what we all share in common, to improve the self-regulation.  Allowing to learn from other teachers’ experiences and grant a 10 % to 40 % of teachers that incorporate choices and creative enrichment activities in their lessons.  Increasing students engagement and developing their creativity. 

 

References

Camp, J. (2010, Nov 10) Friedman’s Theory of Differentiated Leadership Made Simple

Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgdcljNV-Ew&feature=youtu.be

 

Friedman, E.  (2007) A failure of nerves. Leadership in the age of the quick fix. New York. Seabury Books.

 

Grenny, J., Patterson, K., Maxfield, D., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2013) Influencer: The new Science of Leading Change. Second Edition. New York, McGraw-Hill Education. 

 

Harapnuik H. (2016, Jan 18) Self – Differentiated leadership – DLD 5304 Module 5.

Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk90wSou3_o

 

McChesney, C., Covey, S., & Huling, J. (2012) The 4 Disciplines of Execution: Achieving  your wildly important goals. New York, Simon & Schuster

 

Petterson, K., (2015, Aug 20) Video Review for Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson

Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFaXx3pgaxM&feature=youtu.be

 

Sinek, S (2013, September 29) Start with why.

Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sioZd3AxmnE&feature=youtu.be

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Vital Smarts India (2012, Feb 10) Crucial Conversations Explained in 2 Minutes

Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixEI4_2Xivw&feature=youtu.be